Give up carbs? Over my bread body.

Bagels are possibly one of my favorite foods. Having spent a few years in Montreal, I developed an appreciation for the salty, doughy, and chewy Montreal bagels that come hot out of the oven from the famous bakeries like St. Viateur and Fairmont. My hometown of Toronto* rivals Montreal’s dense bagels with airy, fluffy, seedy bagels of their own. You’re probably wondering why I’m going on and on about Canadian bagels when I basically in live in the self-proclaimed bagel capital of the world. But that’s just it! Canadian pride aside, I truly think that Toronto bagels beat New York bagels on the bagel scale**.

I digress. I’m here to talk about New York bagels. Good, old fashioned, East Village bagels that come straight from the oven’s mouth. Tompkins Square Bagels is a scene on weekday mornings. Filled with hungover millennials looking to post a star Instagram, the long, yet efficient line snakes down the narrow dining space, past the glass-windowed kitchen, and curves back through. There is limited seating for the large number of patrons, and a pro tip would be to forget about finding a table and take your food elsewhere. To make the line more efficient, a waiter asks for your order before you are even in view of the chalkboard menu; knowing your order beforehand is a most certain necessity.

Having the luxury of living quite close to Tompkins Square Bagels, I’m lucky enough to have been here a few times. They excel in their cream cheese flavors. Espresso, wasabi, pear, and bacon scallion make up a sample of the numerous options. My first visit was also during an epically named snowstorm Jonas sometime around February of 2015. Blaming the storm as a cause of my bizarre behavior, I ordered an Everything bagel with blueberry and bacon cream cheese (pictured below). Not sure what I was smoking that morning, but nonetheless the flavors surprisingly blended together well and the bagel was on par with my beloved Toronto ones.

Throughout other visits I’ve gotten birthday cake cream cheese with a French toast bagel (see below), the classic lox and cream cheese combo, and also the can’t-go-wrong bacon, egg, and cheese (first photo). Their lox and cream cheese is of standard NY quality. Birthday cake is a winner, but you’ve must have the accompanying sweet tooth to give it the attention it deserves. A good choice is to balance out the sugary filling with an oat or plain bagel. The French toast bagel, while novel, and ultimately delicious, made for too sweet a combination.

While bacon, egg, and cheese is a timeless breakfast decision, NY bodegas tend to do the order justice. If you’re at TSB, their menu combinations are certainly worth the leap of faith. Pesto, eggs, roasted red peppers & fresh mozzarella anyone??

*Not actually my hometown, but for your reading purposes, close enough.

**Totally just made up this scale, but why doesn’t this exist????

3/5 stars.